Kennedy Law Associates' Blog

If you're looking for ways to make the divorce conversation with your spouse easier, one key step to take is to create the proper atmosphere. This is a big conversation for you and your spouse, whether you both want a divorce or it's just something that you're interested in, and you need to carefully consider every aspect.

So, how do you create that ideal atmosphere? Here are a few steps to take:

• Find alone time when the children are somewhere else. They could be at school or with a babysitter. It may work to wait until they're asleep, but that gets harder because you can't guarantee you won't get interrupted.
• Turn off your phone. Don't just set it aside or put it on mute. Turn it off to show that this is just time for you and your spouse to talk.
• Don't do this in the heat of the moment or while you're angry. Always have this conversation when you're feeling calm and level-headed.
• Set the conversation up so that there is no deadline. Even if you think you have enough time -- you have an hour until you have to leave for work, for instance -- it can still create pressure that you don't want.
• Choose a place where you both feel comfortable. If you're still living together, this is best done in the home. If not, it may be wise to choose a neutral location so that you're both on even ground.

Gray divorce is a term used to mean people who get divorced when they are 50 years old or older. This often means that these individuals are grandparents. They do not have to consider the same child custody questions that younger parents may when their children still live at home, but that doesn't mean there aren't any complications. It's important to think this through carefully.

For instance, how is the divorce going to impact estate planning or saving for retirement? Younger divorcees may not have started either of these processes yet, but grandparents likely have. They need to know how their assets will get divided and what it is going to mean for their financial future.

Same-sex couples in 2020 have a potentially unique situation. While same-sex marriage was legal in some parts of the country, the blanket changes to the law that made it legal everywhere did not happen until 2015. They can now get married just like opposite-sex couples, but what might getting that right to wed so late mean for a potential divorce, should one happen?

Well, essentially, it could mean is that a couple was together for years before tying the knot and gaining the same legal rights afforded other married couples. For instance, one same-sex couple -- both of whom fell into a high-income bracket on their own, let alone as a couple -- spent half a dozen years in a very committed relationship before they were even allowed to marry.

People often talk about how divorce rates are actually down in recent years, despite the myth that half of all marriages end in divorce. We now know that couples are more likely to stay together, in large part because they are waiting longer to get married. This is known to lead to greater stability.

One important thing to remember is that marriage rates are also very low. While marriage is still the norm, it used to be expected for nearly everyone. Someone who never got married was an outlier. Today, you have more people than ever before who are choosing not to get married.