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Tips for co-parenting without conflict

North Carolina's mandatory waiting period for couples who desire to file for divorce can create some hardship. According to the law, a couple must live apart for a year and a day before filing in family court.

During the time, a couple may have to go through challenges, such as co-parenting, before having an order. If one or both parties cannot agree on the terms for a schedule, tensions arise and may make proceeding much more difficult. It is good to get some idea on how to handle co-parenting during separation and beyond.

Consider what works for the kids first

Negotiating with your ex can cause serious problems, especially during separation. During the separation period, the parties meet with a court representative to work out a temporary parenting plan and custody arrangement. Before this meeting, you should have a picture of what is best for the kids. Take their activities, school demands and age into consideration.

Learn to communicate in writing

If the potential exists for arguments between you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, you should consider utilizing email to discuss matters. Taking time to read an email and think about a response reduces the chances of you lashing out. Put yourself on a time limit before addressing any hot-button topics your ex may have brought up. That way, you distance yourself from the emotional reaction.

Do not use children as pawns

The court does not look kindly on parents who put their children in the middle of the divorce. If you want to discuss something with your former spouse, do not have your child do it for you. Using your kids to pass messages is a recipe for disaster and may sway the way your son or daughter feels about you or the other parent. Do not engage your children in your divorce in any way; they do not need to know anything except love.

Anxiety, stress and anger crop up at high levels during a divorce. Keeping your cool and knowing some ways to deal with these emotions help with co-parenting.

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