Couples in North Carolina often begin married life with the best of intentions. They truly want to establish a happy home and remain together for the rest of their lives. However, certain behaviors can trigger discontent within marriage and ultimately lead to separation or divorce.
One behavior that often leads to marital issues is conflict avoidance. This may seem contradictory as we often think of conflict as being a bad thing. However, most psychologists believe that there are both healthy and unhealthy types of conflict.
Healthy conflict, in which partners openly and honestly address issues in good faith, is considered good for a relationship. Unfortunately, when couples don’t address things that are bothering them, frustration and irritation can build and lead to a disconnect. It can also lead to sudden bursts of anger that appear to come from nowhere.
Other unhealthy behaviors include minimization, in which a partner dismisses, trivializes or even ridicules the other spouse’s concerns and feelings. Over time, this can cause a spouse to feel devalued in the relationship, and it may contribute to the demise of the marriage.
Experts generally agree that communication skills can be learned, even by people who did not grow up with good role models in their homes. Seeking both individual and couples therapy may be an option that could save a marriage.
Unfortunately, some marriages can’t be saved. In such situations, an individual may benefit from retaining an experienced family law attorney. The lawyer might be able to review the client’s case and make recommendations in regard to issues such as asset division, ongoing support and child custody.