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How to avoid contentious communication during your divorce

There may have been a lot of contentious communication leading up to your divorce — but once the divorce process starts, it’s often better for everyone if the yelling stops and both parties try to learn to convey information back-and-forth in a civil fashion.

Learning to effectively communicate with your ex-spouse can avoid a lot of stress during your divorce, make property division easier and preserve your working relationship with your co-parent (if you have children).

Remove the emotional connection

It’s easy to drown in your emotions when your marriage ends. Unfortunately, making decisions that are based on emotions can lead you in the wrong direction. It can also make having respectful conversations with your ex difficult. It might help for you to think about the divorce as sort of a business arrangement. Additionally, remember that what led to the dissolution of the marriage likely won’t have a role in the divorce proceedings — so keep your focus on the issue at hand and your tone in all communications professional and neutral.

Take time away when necessary

If you find that your emotions are taking over when you’re trying to discuss something, it might be best to take a little time away from the situation so you can calm down. This pause is a good time for you to think about the solutions to the issue that might work out for the best. Be sure that you’re thinking about the best interests of the kids if the issue is related to child custody.

Remember that compromise is key

Being able to compromise with your ex is one of the keys to getting everything sorted out for the divorce. If you have children, the compromise that occurs during the legal process of ending the marriage can set the foundation for what’s going to happen with the child custody matters. 

When you’re going through a divorce, you must ensure that you protect your rights. Your attorney can help you with this, so be sure to discuss the specific points of your case with them.