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Nesting concept can ease divorce transition for children

North Carolina parents who are going through a divorce could consider the concept of nesting for reducing the disturbance to the lives of their children, at least in the near term. A nesting arrangement allows children to continue to live in the family home, and the separated parents take turns living there and providing child care.

For example, one couple kept the family home and rented a nearby apartment. The parents switched between the home and the apartment every week. Although the arrangement only lasted for 18 months, the parents agreed that it gave the children a chance to adjust to the divorce while remaining in a stable and familiar environment without the need to transfer back and forth between two households.

With nesting, parents hope to spare their children the stress of shifting homes and packing up their possessions every week. The children might also benefit from seeing their parents cooperating for the sake of their well-being. The arrangement typically is not considered a long term solution. Privacy for the divorced parents suffers, and animosity over household chores and other issues could lead to arguments.

Custody and visitation are often hot-button issues during a divorce. In many cases, parents are able to reach an accord between themselves while in others, their respective attorneys can assist in negotiating an agreement. If that is not possible, and mediation has been tried but to no avail, then the issue may end up being decided by a judge. Parents should realize that this is not a battle to be “won” or “lost” but that instead the best interests of the child are of paramount importance.