Christmas and birthdays can be complicated for divorcing parents of minor children. There’s the question of where and how the kids will celebrate those days, and the potential complications of gift giving
While many co-parents do their shopping separately, with each person buying whatever they want for the children, sometimes that does not work out well.
Talking about it first may be wise
There is nothing inherently wrong with outspending a co-parent, but prior discussion can reduce the chance of misunderstandings or other negative outcomes. For one, you don’t want to both buy the same thing for your child, but that can happen if they mentioned certain items on their wish list to both of you separately.
Another area where issues can arise is when gift giving becomes competitive, or when one person believes the other is treating it that way. For example, you might have decided to buy your child a full suspension mountain bike. It’s not cheap, but experience has taught you that it is worth paying for a good one, because it will outlast and outperform a cheap one.
After Christmas, your ex mentions the bike to one of their friends, who proceeds to recount how their ex is forever trying to outdo them on the kids’ presents. They reach the conclusion that this was what motivated you, and it leads to resentment and problems between the two of you going forward.
If you had discussed getting the bike first, they might have understood that this was not the case at all. They might even have suggested that the two of you split the cost or ask the grandparents to chip in. This can save you money (which might be in short supply) and help preserve co-parental harmony.
There’s a lot to think about as a divorcing parent. Having sound legal guidance can help you make decisions that work for you and your children.