To divorce or not to divorce. That is the question. If considering ending your marriage, like Shakespeare’s character Hamlet, you may be wondering whether it is nobler to suffer or to file and put an end to your troubles.
Many people hang on in a marriage for their children’s sake, for financial reasons or because the time is not right. Perhaps their partner’s parent has just died, and they do not want to overwhelm by adding divorce to their worries.
However, there is one situation where the decision is not something you should debate. When you have an abusive partner who is subjecting you to domestic violence, divorce becomes a safety matter. Getting out of your marriage should be a priority. While abusive partners can change, most never do.
An abusive spouse will try to dissuade you from divorce
The problem is, it is not always as easy to escape as others might think. Abusive spouses can take considerable measures to prevent you from leaving. Here are some common tactics they might use:
- They may control the finances leaving you wondering how you will pay for a divorce.
- They might track what you are doing to make it hard for you to see an attorney.
- They might threaten to take your children away.
- They might try to convince you a judge will never award you custody.
- They might come after you and inflict further harm.
You can find the answers to some of our commonly asked questions about divorce here. It can be hard to find clear information when your spouse checks your internet browser history. Speaking to an experienced divorce attorney can help you dispel rumors and understand more about your options to escape a violent marriage. Going home and announcing your want a divorce could result in more abuse, so it is vital to gather all the facts and plan how to file for divorce in the safest way for you and your children.