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How can you help your children understand your divorce?

When considering a divorce, you will have a lot of questions. If you are a parent, you will not be the only one with questions that need answers.


Asking questions is how children make sense of things, and your divorce will be no exception. As parents, you need to ensure they get the answers they need to help them understand what is happening.


Understanding divorce may take time for your children


You may worry about having “the conversation” with your children. The one where you tell them you are getting divorced. While how you tell them for the first time is critical, it should not be a one-off conversation. To help your children understand how divorce will affect their lives, you need to have an ongoing discussion.


Some children are more forthcoming with questions than others. If your child does not ask you anything, it does not mean they understand everything. It could mean they are struggling more than you think. Consider getting them to explain back what they have understood in their own words.


However well you think you explain things, the messages might not get through in the way you hope. It is especially true for younger children. They may find the concept of divorce too abstract to understand. What they need are details to help them build a picture of what life will be like. Who will cook dinner on Thursdays, which bed they will sleep in and who will feed the fish if they are not there?


Finding the right legal help to smooth your divorce frees you up to spend more time looking after your kids instead of dealing with legal matters.